Motel Hell

Just as long as I don’t have to stay there, I’m cool with this:

A British hotel is offering football-free breaks for “soccer widows” desperate to escape wall-to-wall coverage of the World Cup.

Any guest who overhears a member of staff mentioning the f-word (”football”) will be given a free glass of champagne.

“The bookings are starting to stream in,” said Mike Bevans, manager of the Linthwaite House Hotel in the picturesque Lakes District, one of Britain’s prime tourist destinations.

The sport supplements are being taken out of daily newspapers and, instead of blanket TV coverage of the big games, guests will be offered a string of romantic movies on DVD such as Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman.

The World Cup finals in Germany start on June 9, with the final in Berlin on July 9.

Damian P.

Lurch Back to the 80’s

Thanks for the goal, Crouchie, but please keep these moves to a poorly lit disco floor (Avert thine eyes, children!).

Paul Canniff

Andy Johnson goals

Toffeeweb editor Michael Kenrick is over the moon regarding AJ’s signing.  He links to this compliation video of some very nice goals.

What struck me, watching that collage, was of course his pace, but also the fact that this is no one-trick pony: he has produced a great variety of excellent finishes, his ability to run onto the long ball and put it away in with some finesse should fit in particularly well with our style of play. As some have mentioned, though, he masy find things harder with our limited lines of supply…

Maybe Sven should have watched this one, him being so keen on video scouting and all…

Mike C.

Rooney Scan Moved Up

A June 7 scan will determine if he can make the cut by FIFA’s June 9 deadline. Jermain Defoe and Andy Johnson stand ready for call-up.

We may have to brace ourselves for the worst.  Losing a player who singlehandedly outscored the entire Italian team in Euro 2004 is a tough blow but the Beautiful Game has that remarkable element of chance which may prevail in our favour.

Paul Canniff

Cheltenwhat?

A side with a weekly wage bill of £13,000 moves up to League One after defeating Grimsby in the playoffs.

Sure, it’s a charming Cinderella story of sorts but the baser part of me was hankering for that revived brutal derby with Scunthorpe.

Paul Canniff

EPL By The Numbers

In 2004-05, 61 points earned Everton 4th spot and a place in European qualification.  This season, the same tally would have found them in 7th spot.  This made me wonder about whether there were any trends with respect to overall points and how concentrated things were getting at the top of the league.  I looked at overall points earned and the percentage of those points required for Top 4, Top 6 and Top 10 finishes.

Didn’t really find any trends to speak of, but here are the results of the analysis anyway.

Mike C.

World Cup fixtures

Here’s a handy chart (pdf) from Sky showing all World Cup fixtures.

Mike C. 

AJ Watch

Following up on Paul’s post, The Guardian are reporting that AJ is moving to Goodison.

Everton last night won the race to sign Andrew Johnson from Crystal Palace for a club record £8.5m, with the England striker agreeing to move to Goodison Park in preference to either Wigan Athletic or Bolton Wanderers.

But, but, but…

The fee represents a huge proportion of Moyes’ summer transfer budget and may frustrate his attempts to sign a high-profile centre-half.

Sign the Goal Scorer! ~ 2005/06 could have been so different for Everton had they managed even just a few more goals.  While I will not count my chickens here before I see Andrew Johnson in a blue Chang jersey, I’m am guardedly hopeful that Moyes has finally pulled the trigger on a proven striker.  But who knows what last minute wrangling will happen from Bolton and Wigan.

The 25-year-old will meet with Moyes again today but his preference - first expressed last summer following Palace’s relegation from the Premiership - had always been to move to Goodison Park, despite the fact that his other suitors were offering a more attractive financial package.

That would have seen his weekly salary rise from £24,000 to over £40,000, yet he has instead opted to fall within Everton’s own stricter wage structure, most likely on a par with his future strike partner James Beattie, at around £30,000 a week. After 85 goals in 160 appearances at the Selhurst Park club, he is expected to be unveiled as the most expensive player in the Merseysiders’ history next week.

The Guardian article indicates that AJ’s friendship with James Beattie is part of his interest in Everton.  While we’re not sure at this point what the final story really is, I think I’ll allow myself a Woo-hoo! anyway.

Mike C.

Ins and Outs of Strikers

Rooney:

He’s traveling to Germany but only with the prospect of a further scan on June 14. As noted by one of our regular contributors, this is proving to be a tricky dilemma both medically and politically.  So count him out of the group stages for now.

Johnson:

Andy’s definitely on his way back to the Premiership.  Wigan and Bolton are both ready to pony up £8.5M for his services. I would hope that he tends towards Wigan:  Paul Jewell is getting it right at the JJB, whereas Big Sam has been failing in the clutch of late while on the road.  And I still hope that Andy gets a call-up for Germany in light of Rooney’s condition.  I will not hop onto the inexplicable bandwagon for the Merseyside Lurch.

Update: Now the Toffees have joined the bidding war for Johnson. I still stand by my observation above.

Paul Canniff

Scudetto Schadenfreude

No matter what you may think of the state of English footie, the genius of Italian design triumphs again when it comes to footballing disaster.  The Beeb is now running a regular deathwatch on Serie A teams and the growing number of miscreants caught up in criminality ranging from match-fixing to shady transfers.

Oh, l’umanità!

Paul Canniff

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