Maple Lions

The verdict is in for the Italian match-fixing scandal:

• Juve, Lazio and Fiorentina are being demoted one league down to Serie B
• AC Milan stays in Serie A but loses 15 points and is booted from the Champions League
• Juve also has its last two Scudetto titles stripped and loses thirty points.

*“It has hit the fan.”

Paul Canniff 

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The new ranking system has debuted and the results are indeed interesting:

• As your humble scribe foretold, the USA has dropped to 16th from fifth place, a still respectable but definitely more accurate evaluation
• Among the old school, Italy, Argentina, France, England and Germany have all risen
• Africa gets well-deserved improved representation in the top twenty, with Côte d’Ivoire joining Nigeria and Cameroon
• The three most improved standings: Equatorial Guinea (+59), Seychelles (+35) and Chad (+31)
• The three biggest losers in the reshuffle?  Saudia Arabia (-47), Luxembourg (-42) and Iraq (-36)

And yes, Canada has risen 29 spots to 54th, in between Guatemala and Angola.

Paul Canniff 

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See the secrets to Italian play at the World Cup, also aped shamelessly by their Portuguese acolytes.

Paul Canniff

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Even a devoted Taphead like me has to concede that this is a piece of footie journalism worthy of a Nigel Tufnel-David St. Hubbins lyrical collaboration. Or possibly the libretto of a new Derek Smalls jazz fusion experiment.

H/T The Rebel Sell

Paul Canniff

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Dietmar Hamann stops the insanity by signing on with Manchester City.

Paul Canniff

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So Old Trafford management have smacked down any talk of Cristiano Ronaldo seeking refuge in Madrid.

Meanwhile,

• The Glazers are seeking a £500M loan against future ticket sales.
• Juve plan on a fire-sale of top players that would do Mel Lastman proud, as they ready for their debut on calcio’s dinner-theatre circuit.

As always, gentle reader, follow the money.

Paul Canniff

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He denies speculation that he will coach the American national side, but this certainly won’t quiet the rumours:

Jurgen Klinsmann has stepped down as Germany coach after two years in charge and been replaced by assistant coach Joachim Loew.

“My big wish is to go back to my family, to go back to leading a normal life with them,” said Klinsmann, 41, who is based in California.

“After two years of putting in a lot of energy, I feel I lack the power and the strength to continue in the same way.

Loew, 46, had been Klinsmann’s assistant for two years.

Damian P.

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• Dietmar Hamann is leaving Anfield for the Reebok Stadium.
• Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink heads down to the Valley.
• Liverpool keeper Chris Kirkland goes on loan to Wigan.

Update: Bolton claims their bid for Hamann is off, with Man City now a potential suitor.

Paul Canniff

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Hard to believe, but there really is a whole world of football outside the four-year cycle of collective delirium.  And much has been transpiring while Wayne Rooney introduced Carvalho to the Croxteth production of “Riverdance” and Zizou displayed his mastery of the Glasgow handshake:

• Both Bayern and Real Madrid have Ruud Van Nistelrooy in their sights. He could inject some new life into the Bernabeu lineup but I shudder at seeing such talent warehoused at football’s Shady Pines Rest Home for Millionaires.
• The Magpies may have relief Klose at hand. Alan Shearer sees the German striker as his potential replacement at St. James’.

Paul Canniff

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It’s already up at YouTube.

Mais pourquoi, indeed. What a sad end to a glorious career, which included a goal (from a thoroughly undeserved penalty) in today’s match.
Damian P.

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