Maple Lions

As if they weren’t already over-exposed in so many ways during the World Cup, England’s WAGs (wives and girlfriends) are forcing their way back into the media spotlight with their own reality TV show:

Ten WAGs - wives and girlfriends - of footballers are to run rival London shops in the ITV2 series, WAGs Boutique, due to be shown next year.

[…]

The WAG who individually makes the most money will win the opportunity to design her own clothing range.

Two problems:

1. Do the WAGs actually know how to sell tasteless, overpriced tat off the rack, versus buying it?
2. If they’re doing the selling, who out there has enough cash and lack of fashion sensibility to be their customer base?

Paul Canniff

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Well said, Gary Lineker. Save Lurch for Hallowe’en, Macca, and put a real striker out on the pitch.

Paul Canniff

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Your humble scribe has been distracted from posting by a number of pressing concerns. Unfortunately, among them was witnessing the latest phase of Steve McClaren’s European campaign. While the post-match video reports confirmed that a torn-up divot was the culprit, I shudder at the memory of Paul Robinson’s flubbed return that led to Gary Neville’s own goal in the Croatia match.

But the real horror lies in Doctor McClaren’s mad experiments in formations. The 5-3-2 was hopeless and hapless in the face of Croatia. Did we suffer under the yoke of Sven only to be greeted by the stuff that saw Macca flame out in an earlier bid at European glory?!

Will it be another Ides of March next spring when England face Israel and mighty Andorra?

Pray.

Paul Canniff

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The August 2006 edition of Shoot Monthly reports that Steven Gerrard led the England squad in calories burned up in season competition at 91,000, the equivalent of running 32 marathons. Coming in behind were Frank Lampard and John Terry. The results came from a study commissioned by McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes, an official supplier of snacks to the national team.

No word yet on research by Ronaldo’s sponsor, PowerSauce Bars. Give credit where it’s due: he still broke Gerd Muller’s scoring record while apparently fuelled with old apple cores and shredded Chinese newspapers.

Paul Canniff

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It seemed to me that Spurs would have been better off if Kevin Kilbane had not been sent off in the 33rd minute of today’s match at White Hart Lane. Lee seemed to have his number and probably would have penetrated from the right side all day long. As it was, I wasn’t overly pleased with the Kilbane start. However, as one of the tv announcer’s mentioned, something happens sometimes to ten-man squads and, whatever it was, it happened to Everton today. They made it to half time with a nil-nil draw, but, still, it didn’t look hopeful for Moyes’ men. Chances were that Tottenham would break them down as the game went on.

But Andrew Johnson started to find his groove in the second half and did some nice work to set up the first goal from an Arteta free kick into the box. A glancing header from the other Everton newcomer, Joleon Lescott, went into the net off of Spurs defender Davenport, but I believe it was Joseph Yobo who was waiting at the far post and probably would have had it. 1-Nil! Could it be?

Some great mid-field work from Leon Osman brought the ball forward on the right to Phil Neville and it was one Steve McLaren call-up to another with a tremendous cross from Neville and a beautiful finish by Andy Johnson. 2-Nil! Unbelieveable!

Tim Howard didn’t need to do much, but did what he had to do when he had to do it. I won’t comment on Martin Jol’s stategy, although the tv commentators certainly had lots of questions; it was a good performance in that respect from Moyes himself.

It took Everton until NOVEMBER 27th to score 5 goals last season and hadn’t hit the 7 points mark until November 6th when a victory brought them to 9 points. Lots of positive things happening in Toffeeland these days. Are Evertonians excited about a better-than-11th-place-finish for 2006-07? You’re frakking right we are! Twenty-one years to the day from their last win at White Hart Lane, Everton goes home with the win.

Mike C.

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1. The first England goal was the product of an almost balletic set of ball returns, beautiful to witness.
2. While Lamp’s contribution was more the result of a wonky Greece deflection, it ought to do wonders for his confidence after Germany.
3. Lurch succeeds in hitting a target bigger than him — twice. Nice billiards touch with his header on the second goal.
4. Mark this date down in history: the first successful field goal attempt in an England match was NOT made by Becks.

The future’s looking so bright I gotta wear a WAG’s sunglasses.

Paul Canniff

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New England manager Steve McClaren has dropped former captain David Beckham:

Beckham’s name was absent as McClaren unveiled his first squad - for the friendly against Greece at Old Trafford on 16 August.

The decision could bring the curtain down on 31-year-old Beckham’s 10-year England career.

The Real Madrid midfielder, who has 94 caps, quit as captain after England’s World Cup exit in July but insisted he wanted to continue playing.

This indeed ranks up with the fall of the Berlin Wall as a turn of the historical tide. Seriously.

Paul Canniff

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The Steve McClaren regime takes a great first step by naming John Terry as the new skipper. No sarongs for this Hard Man, it goes without saying.

Oh, and Steve gives Theo Walcott a job more suited to his tender age.

Paul Canniff

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Steve McClaren has retained a notorious spin doctor to handle his PR needs.

Wouldn’t one way of avoiding bad press be to actually start playing the game well? I suspect a penalty kick coach would be far cheaper than a media maven.

Paul Canniff

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Despite voluminous and painful evidence to the contrary, Michael Owen is convinced that practising penalty kicking will not help England:

“If you do practise, you’re not going to do yourself any harm. So if it does give you extra confidence, I suppose it’s worth doing, but I’m not sure it makes much difference. You can never remember what you did in training when you’re on the pitch.”

A little hint: you’re not supposed to remember training on the pitch, it should ingrained and become instinctive. 

Oy. 

Paul Canniff

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