Maple Lions

With Roy Keane due to take over as gaffer at the Stadium of Light, is the scenario going to be more like I Spit on Your Grave, as Saint Roy delivers the historical death blow to World Cup nemesis Mick McCarthy, or will it be something along these lines?

McCarthy: “I’ve done far worse than kill you, Roy. I’ve hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me: marooned for all eternity at the head of a dead team, buried alive. Buried alive.”
Keane: “MIIIICK!!!”
[echo]
Keane: “MIIIICK!!!”

Paul Canniff

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New Black Cats gaffer Niall Quinn settles into the usual position of a Sunderland manager:

Paul Canniff 

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Newcastle’s 4-1 win over Sunderland (who probably belong in League One more than Millwall) puts the Geordies into seventh place.

An urgent plea to Newcastle United supporters all over the world: do not, I repeat, do not discuss how this affects our chances for playing on a certain continent located approximately 35km from the British Isles.  Don’t even whisper the name of said continent.  Let’s not get our hopes up until after May 7.

Damian P.

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26% of respondents to a Daily Telegraph online poll think Sunderland will survive relegation.

Damian P.

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BBC Sport’s Chris Bevan examines where it all went wrong for Mick McCarthy and Sunderland this season.  The main culprit: expensive signings which simply didn’t pan out:

Sunderland signed 12 players last summer after winning promotion back to the Premiership - including two on loan - for a conservative £4.25m.

But Wigan and West Ham also overhauled their squads in the summer, and without breaking the bank.

Hammers boss Alan Pardew spent £4.8m on nine players before the season began, while Wigan manager Paul Jewell brought in 11 players for £5.95m.

West Ham only loosened the purse strings in the January transfer window when their top flight status was secured, spending £7.25m on Dean Ashton.

At the same time Wigan splashed £2m on Paul Scharner, while McCarthy’s only action was to bring in Rory Delap from Southampton and Kevin Smith from Leeds, both on free transfers.

[…]

Jon Stead, Andy Gray, Daryl Murphy and Anthony Le Tallec have all struggled to make an impact in the Premiership, scoring just three goals between them all season - and all four were close-season McCarthy signings.

Stead (£1.8m) has not scored at all and Gray (£1.1m) has managed only one.

Stephen Elliott and Marcus Stewart got the goals to win promotion last season, but Elliott has been injured for long spells and the experienced Stewart left for Bristol City in the summer.

£1.25m goalkeeper Kelvin Davis hasn’t distinguished himself either, though there’s only so much you can do behind that defence.  Poor Mick ends his Premiership career with a record for futility which may never be broken: 2-4-31.

Damian P.

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Mick McCarthy has been sacked as manager of Sunderland. He was a confounding gaffer, good enough to win league promotions in the clinch but never able to translate that drive into workable EPL football. Let’s be a little kind to the man in his dark hour: how many of you have ever survived a rant the likes of which Roy Keane laid down on Mick after Ireland’s international follies?

The Hammers and the Latics do keep up one’s confidence in upward mobility from the Championship. However, what can one say of Mackem footie but to cite the wisdom of Milhouse Van Houten: “I fear to look, yet I cannot turn away!”

Paul Canniff

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As a Newcastle supporter I’m supposed to hate Sunderland, but I can’t help feeling sorry for this guy:

Sunderland manager Mick McCarthy says his players are proud to be representing the Wearside outfit.

Although The Black Cats are destined for the drop, the Stadium of Light boss has been impressed by his squad’s determination, character and professional pride.

[…]

“They play for themselves, their own pride, their own personal bit. What’s nice about them, collectively, is they’re all playing for the club.

“The results have been poor,” he confessed. “We’re all disappointed and all sick about it.

“But they keep scrapping and they do take immense pride in the fact they’re playing for Sunderland and that red and white shirt. It’s something to be proud of.”

To be honest, I’d love to see the Black Cats pull off a miracle turnaround and stay up. At most, I’m indifferent to the likes of Birmingham City, Portsmouth and West Brom, and it would be great to keep the Tyneside rivalry going for another year.

Many consider the 2002/03 Sunderland side, which finished the year with only 19 points, the worst club in Premiership history. This year’s edition has 10 points with only 11 matches left. (West Ham and Wigan, whom Sunderland beat handily in the Championship last year, have 41 and 40, respectively.)

Damian P.

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