Maple Lions

Just go here.

Damian P.

Comments(1)

Someone finally captures the essence of our favourite Croxteth denizen:

Paul Canniff

Comments(0)

Lord Stevens has issued a report on illegal payments in football transfers, citing 17 incidents, but has not yet named names:

“This is no witch hunt. This is no whitewash,” said Stevens, whose Quest team looked at 362 transfers between January 2004-06. “The reason why we are not naming names is the inquiry is ongoing. I know you would like us to name and shame but I can’t do it at the present stage.”

When asked whether there were “crooks” making money from football, Stevens uttered a firm “yes” - although he insisted that the majority of the game is “clean but the accounting processes and monitoring of the clubs are in a mess”.

Stevens has made 39 recommendations which he believes “are essential to the future and reputation” of the game - including an independent body to handle the audit of transfers.

Paul Canniff

Comments(0)

The Beeb gives the lowdown on the draw for the next phase of the Champions League.

Paul Canniff

Comments(0)

Alan Curbishley prepares to feast on Upton Park’s new Icelandic riches… with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Some have claimed that he was a bargain since he wasn’t tied to another club. To lightly paraphrase Dennis Miller, five lime-green leisure suits for the price of one is neither a bargain nor wise.

In due course Roy Keane and Mick McCarthy may have a new mate with whom to swap tales of the Premiership.

Paul Canniff 

Comments(0)

The hills around Upton Park are alive with the sound of a thud as Alan Pardew’s career with the Hammer crashes, in no small part due to his acquisition of Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano:

Hammers legend Frank Lampard Snr believes the arrival of the Argentine duo at the end of August was central to the club’s demise.

“It was only six months ago that everyone was saying how well Alan was doing,” Lampard told BBC Five Live.

“It seems since he brought in Tevez and Mascherano it’s all gone wrong.

“It’s a shame that he’s gone but football is like that. You get your chance and as soon as you start losing games, the pressure’s on.”

The Beeb also reports the disturbing possibility that Curbs is the early favourite as the new gaffer. But will Curbs have time to break away from his yachting lessons with the former captain of the Exxon Valdez?

Paul Canniff

Comments(1)

The Special One takes a page from Michael Corleone in defending his uneasy striker:

“Sheva is not untouchable because of the way he is playing. I play the best players at the time.”

The Ukraine striker has scored just three Premiership goals since his move from AC Milan in the summer.

Mourinho added: “Claude Makelele, Michael Essien and Frank Lampard are untouchable because of the way they play, not because I love them.

“Michael Ballack is untouchable because of the way he plays. John Terry is untouchable. Ricardo Carvalho, Ashley Cole and Didier Drogba - they are untouchable.”

[…]

“We need to give Sheva time. I give him time. The good thing is that he is not happy with the way he is performing. If he was happy, we would have a problem.”

Paul Canniff

Comments(0)

Somewhere in here is the actual excuse for la Légion’s sleep-inducing draw with Porto:

“Porto played well,” he said. “But we were a bit flat physically and maybe over-cautious when we won the ball.

“It was a nervous performance because we knew to go out would have been a massive disappointment.

“We didn’t go forward enough or give enough support to Emmanuel Adebayor.

He added: “When you play every three days you can be less sharp sometimes.”

And the dog ate his playbook.

Makes one pine for the insights of Big Bobby Clobber.

Paul Canniff 

Comments(0)

Because it’s certainly not making contact with a ball on the sweet spot. Andriy Shevchenko opens the door publicly to an exit from Stamford Bridge:

“But if it happens, I am ready to pack my bags,” he said. “I’m a completely self-confident person. If I don’t suit somebody then I’ll go back to Italy and prove how good I can still be.

“I’m not finished as a player. On the other hand I have nothing to prove. Everybody knows what Andriy Shevchenko is capable of.”

Odd how a self-confessed completely self-confident man wanders the pitch dazed and confused like Grandpa Simpson. And thus no one but Shevchenko actually knows what he is capable of.

Among supporters of many stripes I have found a consensus that Sheva does not appear to have adjusted psychologically to the English game. And I agree: if anyone should be packing his bags in January, it should be Sheva and not SWP. Chelsea needs reliable striking power in depth… fast.

Update:

All that’s missing from the lame official Chelsea FC response is the opening phrase, “TASS is authorized to announce that…”.

Paul Canniff

Comments(0)

Today Old Trafford witnessed a classic turnaround by the Red Devils while Porto and la Légion Étrangère were locked in an epic paint-drying battle. All English clubs finished at the top of their respective groups to advance to the knockout stage.

Here the final stats from the group stage:

1. Liverpool: 13 pts., GD +6
2. Chelsea: 13 pts., GD +6
3. Manchester United: 12 pts., GD +5
4. Arsenal: 11 pts., GD +4

The Scouse just edge out the Blues for top spot by scoring 11 goals versus Chelsea’s 10. Liverpool was the fourth-highest scoring team in the entire group stage, behind Real Madrid, Lyon and Valencia.

Thus far, Didier Drogba remains the CL’s top-ranked individual scorer with five goals, with Lurch and Louis Saha just behind him with four goals in fourth and seventh position.

Your polling feedback was a tad at variance with reality, but then the wonder of football lies in its capacity to surprise.

Paul Canniff

Comments(0)