Maple Lions

The Beeb gives the lowdown on the draw for the next phase of the Champions League.

Paul Canniff

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Somewhere in here is the actual excuse for la Légion’s sleep-inducing draw with Porto:

“Porto played well,” he said. “But we were a bit flat physically and maybe over-cautious when we won the ball.

“It was a nervous performance because we knew to go out would have been a massive disappointment.

“We didn’t go forward enough or give enough support to Emmanuel Adebayor.

He added: “When you play every three days you can be less sharp sometimes.”

And the dog ate his playbook.

Makes one pine for the insights of Big Bobby Clobber.

Paul Canniff 

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Today Old Trafford witnessed a classic turnaround by the Red Devils while Porto and la Légion Étrangère were locked in an epic paint-drying battle. All English clubs finished at the top of their respective groups to advance to the knockout stage.

Here the final stats from the group stage:

1. Liverpool: 13 pts., GD +6
2. Chelsea: 13 pts., GD +6
3. Manchester United: 12 pts., GD +5
4. Arsenal: 11 pts., GD +4

The Scouse just edge out the Blues for top spot by scoring 11 goals versus Chelsea’s 10. Liverpool was the fourth-highest scoring team in the entire group stage, behind Real Madrid, Lyon and Valencia.

Thus far, Didier Drogba remains the CL’s top-ranked individual scorer with five goals, with Lurch and Louis Saha just behind him with four goals in fourth and seventh position.

Your polling feedback was a tad at variance with reality, but then the wonder of football lies in its capacity to surprise.

Paul Canniff

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Traces of Polonium have been found at the Emirates Stadium.  Who knew Vladmir Putin was a Spurs fan?

Damian P.

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Four For Two has published in its December 2006 edition what is easily the most foolish piece of armchair football analysis in print:

Arsene Wenger doesn’t hate English players, he has given many of them their chance at Arsenal, only for them to throw it back in his face, or not reach the required standard.

[…]

When you look at the attitude of the young Arsenal players like Kolo Toure, Emmanuel Eboue and Cesc Fabregas, added to the experience of Thierry Henry, Gilberto Silva and Jens Lehmann, you realise why Wenger wants these people at Arsenal. Nationality is not the issue, attitude is.

And thanks to their poor attitude, the English players who toil at the other nineteen Premiership clubs have yet to realize their dreams of clinching the Premiership title, claiming the FA Cup or the Carling Cup, or reveling in a Champions League victory.

Because at the Emirates they don’t judge a man by his passport, just his esprit de corp… and his pronunciation of it.

Paul Canniff

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New president of the G-14 lobby of football clubs, Arsenal vice-chairman David Dein makes a spirited bid for this year’s C. Montgomery Burns Award for Excellence in the Field of Excellence:

“G-14 is a friend of the game,” he told delegates at the Soccerex football finance seminar in Dubai.

“It is not just for the good and great, the rich and famous. It is clubs that are similar in many respects because of their success, or the money they generate.”

Because, of course, they are just misunderstood legitimate businessmen.

But the real howler comes with Dein’s rationale for the lack of English members in la Légion Étrangère du Londres-Nord:

“As an English club we want to have a base of English players if we can,” he said, adding that Arsenal spent £3m to £4m a year nurturing local talent.

“But if it is not there, we have to buy-in talent from overseas.”

Surely he meant to say, “As a club situated by happenstance in England…”

Paul Canniff

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Here’s how the English sides stand today:

• Liverpool: 13 pts., GD+7
• Chelsea: 10 pts., GD+4
• Arsenal: 10 pts., GD+4
• Manchester United: 9 pts., GD+1

Some points to ponder as the dust settles:

1. While the Scouse are holding their heads high in Europe, is it Raffa’s rotation strategy that is leaving them laid low back home?
2. Has the Special One’s estimation of his audience’s intelligence sunk so low that he actually believed we might pay heed to his latest pre-match puffery? Yup, he was playing for keeps today.
3. The two luckiest men today: Gordon Strachan and Fergie’s bartender.

Paul Canniff 

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Manchester United and Chelsea respectively hold the first and third slots in the latest ESPN World Club 25 rankings; in contrast, Barça and Real Madrid hold down sixth and tenth.

Back in the Champions League, here’s how the English sides are faring as we come up to matchday 5:

1. Chelsea: 10 pts., GD +5
2. Liverpool: 10 pts., GD +5
3. Manchester United: 9 pts., GD +4
4. Arsenal: 7 pts., GD +2

Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United are at the top of their groups, while Arsenal holds second place.

Among the top eight scorers in CL action are Didier Drogba in first, followed by Peter Crouch in fourth and Luis Garcia in eighth.

Paul Canniff

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The club that is sponsored by a state airline has offered El Jefe Wenger a job for life.

I trust Jean Paul Gaultier will do a splendid job in turning out the commandante’s dress uniform.

Paul Canniff

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Mid-way through the group stage, here is how the English sides rank, first on points and then goal difference:

1. Chelsea (6 pts., GD +4)
2. Arsenal (6 pts., GD +3)
3. Manchester United (6 pts., GD +2)
4. Liverpool (4 pts., GD +1)

Interestingly, all of the English clubs are top of their respective groups.

Paul Canniff 

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