Maple Lions

Someone finally captures the essence of our favourite Croxteth denizen:

Paul Canniff

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The Beeb gives the lowdown on the draw for the next phase of the Champions League.

Paul Canniff

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Today Old Trafford witnessed a classic turnaround by the Red Devils while Porto and la Légion Étrangère were locked in an epic paint-drying battle. All English clubs finished at the top of their respective groups to advance to the knockout stage.

Here the final stats from the group stage:

1. Liverpool: 13 pts., GD +6
2. Chelsea: 13 pts., GD +6
3. Manchester United: 12 pts., GD +5
4. Arsenal: 11 pts., GD +4

The Scouse just edge out the Blues for top spot by scoring 11 goals versus Chelsea’s 10. Liverpool was the fourth-highest scoring team in the entire group stage, behind Real Madrid, Lyon and Valencia.

Thus far, Didier Drogba remains the CL’s top-ranked individual scorer with five goals, with Lurch and Louis Saha just behind him with four goals in fourth and seventh position.

Your polling feedback was a tad at variance with reality, but then the wonder of football lies in its capacity to surprise.

Paul Canniff

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The rhetoric is heating up in advance of Chelsea’s visit to Old Trafford on Sunday. While Peter Kenyon, the Chelsea chief executive suggests a move from Stamford Bridge is in the works, Cristiano Ronaldo tries to emulate Muhammad Ali’s wit but ends up sharing only his kicking skills from five yards out:

Blues’ chief executive Kenyon also said they will have to quit Stamford Bridge.

“By 2014 we want to be internationally recognised as the number one club,” he said. “But I think it’s pretty clear we can’t get to where we want to here.”

But United winger Cristiano Ronaldo hit back, saying Chelsea would fall apart if boss Jose Mourinho left the club.

He said: “Mourinho is a great coach and he is Portuguese, so I can’t speak badly of him.

“I would like to see what would happen if he were to leave Chelsea. Perhaps they would stop getting good results.”

Paul Canniff

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Here’s how the English sides stand today:

• Liverpool: 13 pts., GD+7
• Chelsea: 10 pts., GD+4
• Arsenal: 10 pts., GD+4
• Manchester United: 9 pts., GD+1

Some points to ponder as the dust settles:

1. While the Scouse are holding their heads high in Europe, is it Raffa’s rotation strategy that is leaving them laid low back home?
2. Has the Special One’s estimation of his audience’s intelligence sunk so low that he actually believed we might pay heed to his latest pre-match puffery? Yup, he was playing for keeps today.
3. The two luckiest men today: Gordon Strachan and Fergie’s bartender.

Paul Canniff 

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Manchester United and Chelsea respectively hold the first and third slots in the latest ESPN World Club 25 rankings; in contrast, Barça and Real Madrid hold down sixth and tenth.

Back in the Champions League, here’s how the English sides are faring as we come up to matchday 5:

1. Chelsea: 10 pts., GD +5
2. Liverpool: 10 pts., GD +5
3. Manchester United: 9 pts., GD +4
4. Arsenal: 7 pts., GD +2

Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United are at the top of their groups, while Arsenal holds second place.

Among the top eight scorers in CL action are Didier Drogba in first, followed by Peter Crouch in fourth and Luis Garcia in eighth.

Paul Canniff

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The key to Method Acting is motivation. So what makes a man switch in under a minute from sprinting like a Triple Crown winner to hobbling like Dennis Weaver in “Gunsmoke”, as the world witnessed Saturday at Ewood Park?

Weak.

At this rate Vinnie Jones will remain the only footballer to make a plausible transition to the silver screen.

Paul Canniff

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Mid-way through the group stage, here is how the English sides rank, first on points and then goal difference:

1. Chelsea (6 pts., GD +4)
2. Arsenal (6 pts., GD +3)
3. Manchester United (6 pts., GD +2)
4. Liverpool (4 pts., GD +1)

Interestingly, all of the English clubs are top of their respective groups.

Paul Canniff 

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Bans from the pitch have not dulled Wayne Rooney’s combative spirit, as he cold-cocks Blackburn defender Michael Gray after a round of verbal abuse against his missus in a Manchester nightclub.

With one blow.

While sitting down.

I’m not making this up.

Paul Canniff

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TSN is one tough school of TV love. Winning the Premiership two times in a row and making the CL semis and group of sixteen in the same period just isn’t enough to merit getting on the schedule. Another English team gets that privilege without even approaching those benchmarks in the EPL and the Champions League.

Thank you, TSN and CRTC: how ever could we survive without you?

Paul Canniff

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