Maple Lions

Just go here.

Damian P.

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Leo McKinstry of the Telegraph doubts Lord Stevens can do it with his report:

Contrary to what socialists often claim, the wealth is now trickling down to all levels of the game. Non-league football, especially the Conference, has infinitely more resources than in the past. As the writer Ian Ridley showed in his excellent book Floodlit Dreams, about his time as chairman of non-league Weymouth, even a small club such as that can be the subject of bitter boardroom struggles because of its potential earnings. The idea that the fans are worried about bungs is equally absurd. All they care about is whether their team wins. Indeed, they would probably applaud a manager who used a bit of cash to ensure the right player was bought.

Only utopian idealists cling to the belief that soccer can ever be cleaned up. For well over a century, it has been a hard-nosed, professional pursuit, run largely by cynical business figures and performed by tough, working-class men. There has never been a Corinthian ideal in soccer, a belief that style or ethics mattered more than the result. To expect to find morality in soccer is akin to looking for virginity in a brothel.

And Jonathan Legard of the Beeb’s Five Live is equally unimpressed:

As with the battle against drugs in sport, nothing succeeds like a whistleblower, and so far Lord Stevens has been whistling in the wind.

Or maybe, just maybe, we need to believe what his Lordship admitted during his presentation: “The game, in relation to the majority of what we have seen, is clean.”

Those words will never convince the cynics nor silence the whisperers but his damning criticism of the football authorities reveal precisely why the rumour and innuendo about a so-called bung culture have persisted for so long.

Paul Canniff

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Someone finally captures the essence of our favourite Croxteth denizen:

Paul Canniff

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The Beeb publishes its list of the top ten terrace chants of 2006. But the best I’ve encountered comes courtesy of my good friend Neal Elliott, who is currently touring England:

“All bling and Burberry,

High teenage pregnancy,

No father on the scene,

All robbing cash machines!”

As sung by Sittingbourne supporters to their local rivals Chatham, to the tune of Verdi’s La Donna e Mobile.

Paul Canniff

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Lord Stevens has issued a report on illegal payments in football transfers, citing 17 incidents, but has not yet named names:

“This is no witch hunt. This is no whitewash,” said Stevens, whose Quest team looked at 362 transfers between January 2004-06. “The reason why we are not naming names is the inquiry is ongoing. I know you would like us to name and shame but I can’t do it at the present stage.”

When asked whether there were “crooks” making money from football, Stevens uttered a firm “yes” - although he insisted that the majority of the game is “clean but the accounting processes and monitoring of the clubs are in a mess”.

Stevens has made 39 recommendations which he believes “are essential to the future and reputation” of the game - including an independent body to handle the audit of transfers.

Paul Canniff

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The Special One takes a page from Michael Corleone in defending his uneasy striker:

“Sheva is not untouchable because of the way he is playing. I play the best players at the time.”

The Ukraine striker has scored just three Premiership goals since his move from AC Milan in the summer.

Mourinho added: “Claude Makelele, Michael Essien and Frank Lampard are untouchable because of the way they play, not because I love them.

“Michael Ballack is untouchable because of the way he plays. John Terry is untouchable. Ricardo Carvalho, Ashley Cole and Didier Drogba - they are untouchable.”

[…]

“We need to give Sheva time. I give him time. The good thing is that he is not happy with the way he is performing. If he was happy, we would have a problem.”

Paul Canniff

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Somewhere in here is the actual excuse for la Légion’s sleep-inducing draw with Porto:

“Porto played well,” he said. “But we were a bit flat physically and maybe over-cautious when we won the ball.

“It was a nervous performance because we knew to go out would have been a massive disappointment.

“We didn’t go forward enough or give enough support to Emmanuel Adebayor.

He added: “When you play every three days you can be less sharp sometimes.”

And the dog ate his playbook.

Makes one pine for the insights of Big Bobby Clobber.

Paul Canniff 

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Nicky Campbell has some fun in the Guardian with the football chants he has encountered:

A friend told me about a Fulham v West Ham game at Loftus Road. They spotted a fat Fulham fan and, of course, all the predictable stuff was thrown his way. They suggested a part of his anatomy may well have been relatively unfamiliar to him, and imputed to him an over-fondness for pastry. He showed them a digit and the Hammers fans noticed no one was sitting in any of the seats near him. Then it happened. “Have you eaten all your mates?” The fat bloke applauded out of sheer respect.

Paul Canniff

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Because it’s certainly not making contact with a ball on the sweet spot. Andriy Shevchenko opens the door publicly to an exit from Stamford Bridge:

“But if it happens, I am ready to pack my bags,” he said. “I’m a completely self-confident person. If I don’t suit somebody then I’ll go back to Italy and prove how good I can still be.

“I’m not finished as a player. On the other hand I have nothing to prove. Everybody knows what Andriy Shevchenko is capable of.”

Odd how a self-confessed completely self-confident man wanders the pitch dazed and confused like Grandpa Simpson. And thus no one but Shevchenko actually knows what he is capable of.

Among supporters of many stripes I have found a consensus that Sheva does not appear to have adjusted psychologically to the English game. And I agree: if anyone should be packing his bags in January, it should be Sheva and not SWP. Chelsea needs reliable striking power in depth… fast.

Update:

All that’s missing from the lame official Chelsea FC response is the opening phrase, “TASS is authorized to announce that…”.

Paul Canniff

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Sheffield United is cockily building on their latest push out of the drop zone by putting £10M at Neil Warnock’s disposal for the coming transfer window.

After a considerable boost in their form recently, the Blades may end up putting our poll to shame as they wave goodbye not only to the Hornets but possibly the Laticks and the Toon as well.

Paul Canniff

Update:

The Toon surprisingly climb above the Blades in the table after a 3-2 win over high-flying newcomers Reading.

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